Council of Rejects
by The Additional Pylon
Summary: The rejects of Twilight Princess try to figure out how to feature in Skyward Sword by holding their own evil council. Let the randomness commence. Sequel oneshot to Ganondorf's Council of Annoyance. Includes an alternate ending!
1. Council of Rejects

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. The usual school related things held me up. Well, here it is. The second council. For those of you who haven't read my first oneshot, _Ganondorf's Council of Annoyance_, you should really check it out before reading this. Without further ado, lets start the next council.**

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**Council of Rejects**

Underneath the Clock Tower in Termina, three ominous figures gathered. One was a floating, decayed hand. Another was a walking corpse. The third and final figure was a brown gelatinous blob. The three looked at one another and nodded.

"Where are the rest of the members?" the hand asked.

"They'll be here. Let's set ourselves up while we wait," the blob replied.

The three figures, who were actually the head representatives of Wallmasters, Redeads, and Like-Likes, sat at the rectangular conference desk that they had bought and put there a few days ago.

"This place sure beats Koume and Kotake's basement any day. We should have held our own evil council in this place years ago," the Like-Like said.

"There's one thing that's been bothering me, though." The Wallmaster pointed at a smiling man with a huge pack on his back. The man was dressed in purple and one could see several masks decorating his pack. Obviously, this was the Happy Mask Salesman. "Why the hell is he always standing there? And rocking back and forth like that? It's starting to creep me out."

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?" the Happy Mask Salesman asked.

"Just ignore him. He came with the place in the rental deal we got." the Redead sighed.

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?"

The three monsters just stared at the man for a moment before turning back to one another.

"Soooo... who'd you invite?" the Redead asked the Like-Like.

"Well, I decided that we shouldn't invite all the villains we know or the meeting would have ended up like Ganondorf's. So, I took the liberty of inviting only the best of the best."

"Who'd you invite?" the Redead asked again, knowing full well that the Like-Like was lying.

"Alright, alright! No one actually wanted to come to a council held by a couple of rejects like us so I had to bring over anyone available! Are you happy now?" the Like-Like admitted.

"Great," the Wallmaster put in, "Well, as long as that annoying, tunic-wearing bastard doesn't appear, I'm perfectly..."

"Greetings, worms! I, the great Mido, have come to lead this pathetic meeting!"

Mido stood at the entrance in the usual pompous manner of his.

"Joy. Now we have to deal with the creep in purple along with the immortal midget. Why not add in the annoying fairy to complete the deal?" the Redead complained.

"Hey! Did someone say annoying fairy? Hello!" Navi flew in through the open door.

"Oh, for heaven's sake! What did I do to deserve this?" the Wallmaster wailed.

"Come on. It's not that bad. Maybe we can actually get something done with these guys." the Like-Like said sheepishly.

"Who else did you invite?" the Redead asked cautiously.

"Well... just a _few_ other possible members..."

As soon as he said this, a whole crowd of people and monsters rushed in. The first to rush in were Odolwa, Goht, Gyorg, and Twinmold. Following closely were Anju, Kafei, the mayor, Kafei and Anju's mothers, Darmani, Lulu, the giant turtle, Kamaro, Sakon, Naruto, the monkeys, the Deku King and princess, the Goron elder, Team Rocket, the Deku Butler, the Gerudo Pirates, the old professor who lived in the Great Bay area, the beaver brothers, all three of the Gorman brothers, Toto, Darth Vader, Majora, the four giants, Guru-Guru, Skull Keeta, Igos du Ikana, Pamela, Captain Viscen, the Curiosity Shop owner, the Bomber Society, and finally the postman. Needless to say, the place was pretty cramped.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BRING OVER THE VILLAINS!" the Redead roared at the Like-Like.

"I'm sorry! Only those four," the Like-Like gestured towards Odolwa, Goht, Gyorg, and Twinmold, " actually agreed to join! I thought we would need more members, so I bribed everyone I saw with cake to join!"

"So, the cake was a lie?" Kafei shouted out. Mass pandemonium ensued.

"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!"

Everyone did so as the Wallmaster tried to compose itself.

"Okay, I'll decide who can stay and who leaves!" the Wallmaster said.

Soon only Odolwa, Goht, Gyorg, Twinmold, and the postman (don't ask) remained. Darth Vader was also allowed to stay but he soon left, muttering something about copyrights or whatnot. The rest were not considered good enough, or too much of a jerk, to join and were thrown out by Odolwa. Unfortunately, Mido remained due to his invincibility thing. Navi also stayed because she threatened to annoy anyone who touched her. The Happy Mask Salesman, of course, stayed exactly where he stood before due to the council leaders' rental contract.

"Well, now that that's taken care of, we can finally proceed with our meeting!" the Wallmaster proudly declared.

Majora suddenly burst into the room again.

"How dare you not accept me into your lowly council! I'm one of the most evil villains in the whole game series! Not to mention that you're holding your council on my turf! If you don't accept me now, I'll make you wish you were never born! I'll eat your souls and then spit out the remains in the darkest pits of hell! After that, I'll..."

Majora's rant was cut short as the Like-Like ate him and spat him out of the Clock Tower.

"LOL. I'd like to see that floating mask do something now." the Like-Like said.

**DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY**

**72 HOURS REMAIN**

"Where the hell did those giant floating letters appear from?" the Redead questioned.

"Don't know, don't care. Now, let's finally start this meeting before we get interrupted..."

The Wallmaster's statement was interrupted as a group of aliens with giant, glowing eyes ran into the room. They seemed to be carrying a few cows with them.

"Whew! I think we lost them!" one of the aliens let out. "See, this is why we only try to steal the cows during the night!"

"Ah, shut up! We totally would have gotten away without being seen if Larry here didn't try to flirt with that farmer girl!"

"Oh, you're one to talk. Besides, you're the one who blew our cover in the first place! You just had to hold the cow over your head and loudly tell the entire world that you obtained a cow!"

"Both of you, just shut the fuck up! The point is that we safely managed to... Hey, are you guy's holding some type of evil council?"

The Wallmaster was about to reply when Cremia and Romani suddenly burst in. Romani carried her standard bow and arrow while Cremia was holding a crossbow. Both seemed ready to kill.

"Shit! Run for your lives!" one of the aliens screamed as they all started to run further down the Clock Tower.

"Come back with those cows and we'll give you a less painful death!" Cremia shouted out as she opened fire on the aliens. Unfortunately, her aim wasn't exactly the best and most of the council members suddenly found themselves turned into living pincushions.

The aliens fled, screaming. Cremia and Romani gave chase shouting out occasional death threats as they ran. Soon the shouts were blocked out as they all went out through the bottom door.

"Okay... Let's hurry up and start this damn meeting before another..."

**Night of the First Day**

**60 Hours Remain**

"That's it! Mido! Stand in front of the main entrance and use your passageway-blocking-ability to make sure we're not interrupted!" the Wallmaster commanded.

"Why should I? The great Mido will not serve as a mere bouncer for a lowly..."

"Just do it or we'll superglue Navi to your head!"

"Fine, fine. You don't have to be so pushy about it," Mido grumbled as he walked out to guard the entrance.

"Finally, we can actually start.."

"Whoa! Check it out! There's a giant moon looking down at us!" Mido suddenly said from the outside.

If the Wallmaster had a face, it would have face-planted.

"Yes, Mido. We have things called moons on this planet. Sometimes, you can see a full moon and it'll look really big." the Wallmaster told Mido, emphasizing every word.

"No, I mean that..."

"Look! Just shut up and guard the frickin' entrance! It's not that hard, okay?"

Mido stopped interrupting then.

"Finally! Alright, lets get this meeting started. The first order of business is to introduce ourselves to the rest of the group. Let's start with the postman."

"Umm, the postman's dead." the Redead flatly stated.

"What? When did this happen?"

"When that deranged farmer girl shot at us. Poor guy took three arrows to the head and four to chest." Gyorg sadly told the Wallmaster.

"Okay, then we'll start the introductions with Twinmold."

"He's dead too."

"Fine! Let's skip the whole damn introductions part then! Okay, second order of business. Our goal is to gain recognition from the game developers so that we can feature in _Skyward Sword_. My idea is that we kill Link to prove how awesome we really are. If we can succeed in accomplishing what Ganondorf couldn't do for about a hundred games, we'll totally feature in the next _Legend of Zelda._"

"Hey, listen! Wouldn't that be kind of a stupid plan? Watch out! If Link's dead, they'll be no one left to feature as the main character. Hello! I mean, if he's not going to save Hyrule, who is? Hey!

"Damn. The annoying fairy has a point. What else can we..."

**DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY**

**48 HOURS REMAIN**

"Why the hell are these giant letters coming out for?" the Like-Like complained.

"Look, can we please not get interrupted by every single disturbance we face?" the Wallmaster asked.

"Watch out! Who died and put you in charge? Hello!"

"I'm in charge because I'm the only one who seems to actually care about getting this meeting moving along! As for who died, it'll be you if you don't shut up!" the Wallmaster shouted.

"Hey, listen! Sheesh, you don't have to get so worked up about it! Hey!"

"Well, we could always try threatening the game developers. After all, we are a group of giant monsters, right?" Goht proposed.

"No, if we use that plan we'll be sued for sure. Besides, these game developers are more deadlier than they appear. One time, they made Mario feature in the worst game ever created, just because Mario complained that he didn't get enough dialogue in his games. I, for one, definitely don't want to feature in _Luigi's Mansion 2 _or something else horrible like that."

"That sucks. Maybe we can just kill Ganondorf to show what great villains we are." Odolwa put in.

"I wish we could but we can't. Apparently, Link kills Ganondorf off for good in _Twilight Princess._ Anyways, if we kill Ganondorf, that would make us heroes, not villains."

"How about this. We switch..."

Gyorg was cut short as a door was heard slamming open from downstairs. A few moments later, Cremia and Romani walked up, leading a group of cows with them.

"That'll teach those aliens not to mess with our cows! I swear, if even one of them shows up again, I'll grab its insides and pull it out through its... Hey, what are you guys doing?" Cremia asked the rather petrified council.

"Ummm... we were just... uh..."

**Night of the Second Day**

**36 Hours Remain**

"Well, that was strange. Anyways, what are you guys doing here?" Cremia asked with a smile.

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?" the Happy Mask Salesman randomly put in.

Cremia looked in confusion at the group.

"Just ignore him. As for what we're doing, we need to figure out how to prove ourselves worthy of featuring in the next game." the Like-Like told her.

"You nincompoop! You don't just tell random people what we're planning to do! That defeats the whole purpose of holding a secret council!" the Wallmaster scolded the Like-Like.

"So, you guys want to feature in another _Legend of Zelda _game too. Well, we know what it feels like to be left out of a new game. We didn't exactly get much screen time in _Majora's Mask_ and then we stopped appearing at all. Tell you what, me and my sister will help you if you pay us 100 rupees per hour. That seems fair doesn't it?" Cremia offered the group.

The council members looked at the crossbow she was still holding and they all nodded their consent.

"Great! Now then, what ideas have we got?"

"Ahem... Well, as I was saying, we should secretly switch the storyline for _Skyward Sword_. We'll make it so that the game will be so incredibly easy that the game developers will have to put us back in when they make the game after that." Gyorg told them.

"Umm, are you guys the villains in the game? Because I don't see how this plan would help anyone else besides a bad guy. Now that I think about it, all of you guys do seem hideous enough to actually be _Legend of Zelda _villains." Cremia noted, her smile fading.

"Er, what would happen to us on the slight chance that we actually are villains?" the Like-Like asked hesitantly.

Romani spoke up for the first time since the meeting.

"Well that's simple. Since Romani likes Grasshopper, Romani will have to terminate all of you for harassing Romani's future boyfriend. Of course, a bit of rough torture would serve as a great example to all the other villains that would dare hurt Romani's dear Grasshopper. How do you guys feel about crucifixion?"

The entire council turned deathly pale.

"No! We're not villains! We're actually... uhhh... very ugly NPCs! Yeah! We're just your usual, everyday NPCs!" the Wallmaster hurriedly said.

"Then how does your plan from earlier actually help you guys?"

"We... uhhh... only seem to appear when the game is actually very challenging. Ummm... for example, Goht here appeared right in the middle of the water temple in _Ocarina of Time_, the hardest dungeon in the whole gaming series." Gyorg quickly lied.

"Oh. Well, that must suck for you guys. For a second there, I thought I was going to have to burn all of you alive at the stake. Glad we got this simple misunderstanding taken care of before someone got hurt." Cremia told them with a smile back on her face.

"Yeah... let's just continue on with this meeting before something else happens." the Wallmaster replied.

**DAWN OF THE FINAL D...**

A loud voice suddenly shouted from far above.

"You know what? I'm sick and tired of always having to wait three days before I can crush everyone with a moon! I'll just say that I lost track of time when my parole officer checks in. Now then, all of you enjoy your one-way trip to hell!"

Confused, the entire council, except the Happy Mask Salesman, ran outside to see what the commotion was about. What met their eyes was a horrifying sight. An enormous grinning moon was slowly descending towards them, threatening to crush all life from the planet. At the top of the Clock Tower was Majora who seemed to be the one who had shouted earlier.

"Why is he trying to kill us all?" Romani asked the group.

Everyone turned to glare at the Like-Like.

"Great going, you nitwit! You just had to tick off the one guy who has an unnatural obsession for crushing things with a moon!" the Wallmaster screamed at the Like-Like as it smacked the brown blob through a building.

"So, this is how it all ends. Huh. I thought I would feature in at least one more game before I died. Looks like my dream was never meant to be." Odolwa sadly lamented as he accepted his fate.

"Goht?" Gyorg turned to face the mechanical bull. "I just want to let you know that I've always loved you. Even when you dumped me for Twinmold, I always believed we would be together, one way or the other."

Goht turned to look at Gyorg before replying, "And I've loved you too. I'm sorry for leaving you. I was truly an idiot to have dumped a fine fish like you for a mere sand worm. Can you ever forgive me?"

Both of them suddenly embraced and began making out.

While all this was happening, Mido did what most people would have done during an apocalypse.

"We're all going to die! We're all going to die! I don't want to die! I'm too young to die! Someone save me!" Mido suddenly stopped running around in circles. "Oh, wait a minute. I'm immortal! Hah hah! Sucks to be you right now, pathetic mortals!"

Cremia looked at the strange scene unfolding before her. She looked at the oncoming moon and sighed.

"Hey." No one paid any attention to her. "HEY!" This, along with a few arrows from her crossbow, definitely did.

"Ow! What was that for?" Odolwa cried out as he pulled out an arrow from his ass.

"Look. The moon will disappear if Majora is defeated, right?"

"Probably," the Wallmaster replied.

"Fine, I'll stop the moon for you guys. Of course, I'll charge a hefty price for doing this. However, as things currently stand, I don't think all of you have a lot of choice."

The Wallmaster looked at the oncoming moon and nodded to Cremia.

"Okay. How much do you want?"

"I'll charge 8000 rupees for getting the job done. Plus, you guys still have to pay me 1200 rupees for the council. All that will amount to exactly 9200 rupees."

"What? Over 9000? That's impossible! Besides, you didn't do anything to help during the meeting!"

The ground started to shake ominously.

"Okay, okay, okay! Just hurry up and stop that giant piece of rock!"

Cremia ran up the stairs that lead to the top of the Clock Tower and Majora. Everyone below now had their attentions glued to the top of the Clock Tower. They couldn't see what was happening but they could still hear. Suddenly, they all heard Majora laughing his head off.

"Hah ha ha ha ha! Really? That's the best that you pathetic infidels can come up with? Sending a farm girl to defeat me? What are you going to do, throw corncobs at me? Oh, I'm so scared! What will I ever... Hey, what are you doing with that crossbow?

Everyone below heard multiple arrows being fired, followed by a scream.

"Ow! Why did you have to shoot my eyes for? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? Alright, if you want to play rough, I'll show you rough!"

Even from far below, the council could see that Majora was transforming. He suddenly grew out two whip-like arms along with long spindly legs. As he grew bigger, the group could see that Majora had also gained a horn on his head and had three eyes on his face. An evil aura surrounded him as he began to laugh in a deep and demonic voice.

"Mwah hah hah hah! Tremble in fear at my true form! Now you shall see why I'm the most bad-ass villain in the whole _Legend of Zelda_ series! None shall..."

His monologue was cut short as the council saw a red-headed figure jump-tackle Majora. Majora was instantly knocked down. Then the screaming began.

"What are you...! Is that my liver? It is my liver! Stop! Please, I'm begging you! No, not my eyes! Ahhhhhh! My eyes! Have mercy on me!"

The council saw Majora trying to crawl off the Clock Tower. They could instantly see that two of his eyes were gouged out. Even as his hands/whip-things tried to grasp the edge of the platform, he was dragged back.

"Oh my...! Where did you get a freakin' chainsaw? No! Not my arms!"

The screaming continued for a few more minutes. Even before Majora was effectively killed, the moon took one look at the scene taking place below and it flew back up in fear. The council stood in horrified silence as Majora's cries of pain subsided.

"Well, that was easy," Cremia said as she nonchalantly walked back down, dusting off purple powder from her dress. She then turned to look at the fear-struck council.

"Now then, pay up."

The Wallmaster looked at the other council members. They all shook their heads and slowly started backing up.

"Please tell me that you have my payment." Cremia told the Wallmaster with a smile. "If you don't, me and my sister will have to horribly maim you."

The Wallmaster suddenly pointed up into the sky.

"Look! It's more of those aliens!"

While Cremia turned her head to look, the entire council, even the invincible Mido, ran for their lives. A few seconds later both Cremia and Romani chased after them, shouting out what they were going to do to them once they were caught.

And, during all this chaos, the Happy Mask Salesman randomly walked out of the Clock Tower.

"You've all met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

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**Another Author's Note: Just to clarify a few things if you were confused. I wrote this on the basis that time goes by like it does in game. So for every hour in there, its actually only a minute. Yeah. Don't try to make sense of this, its a parody after all. Stay tuned for the alternate ending!**


	2. Alternate Ending

**Council of Rejects**

**Alternate Ending**

**Yes, I am not dead. I was merely busy replaying _WindWaker_ and doing schoolwork. Anyways,**** I thought it was about time I updated so I wrote this. Just read and enjoy! :P**

***Note: The story picks up right after the Like-Like spits Majora out of the Clock Tower.**

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**DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY**

**72 HOURS REMAIN**

"What the hell was that?" the Redead asked.

"Who cares? Now let's start the..."

The Wallmaster was interrupted by the postman's stomach growling.

"Sorry. I didn't eat anything before the meeting since _somebody _promised us cake if we came," The postman glared at the Like-Like as he said this.

"Hey! I said I was sorry!"

The Wallmaster sighed before turning to the Redead.

"Can you go and pick up a few doughnuts? Buy some coffee while you're at it as well. I get the feeling this meeting will take quite a while to finish."

"Umm, why do you want coffee? You don't even have a mouth."

"Stop questioning every minor detail and just go get some!"

"Fine, fine. Jelly-filled doughnuts or regular glazed?" the Redead asked as it started walking out.

"Just make it half-and-half. Add in a few cinnamon rolls in there as well."

The Redead ambled out as the Wallmaster turned back to face the council.

"Okay. Now then, let's introduce ourselves to one another. We'll start with Odolwa and..."

The Wallmaster was cut off once again as the Redead suddenly burst into the room. A look of utmost horror was on its face.

"Everyone! You have to come out and see this!" the Redead shouted out frantically.

Everyone just looked at one another and shrugged before following the Redead out. The Happy Mask Salesman remained exactly where he was, rocking back and forth as usual.

"What exactly are we supposed to be looking at?" an irate Wallmaster questioned the Redead.

"The moon! Just look at the freakin' moon!"

The entire council looked up to see a hideous grinning moon looking down at them.

"What in Din's name is that?" Twinmold asked to no one in particular.

"Mwah hah hah hah hah hah! This is to be your inevitable demise! Quake in fear before me and my mighty moon!" a voice above the Clock Tower boomed.

Everyone looked around and eventually located Majora floating above the Clock Tower.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you really going to crush an entire world just because you didn't get accepted into a stupid council meeting?" the Like-Like shouted at him.

"It wasn't all that stupid..." the Redead halfheartedly said.

Majora laughed before replying.

"Of course I'll crush you all for that! Heck, I even crushed Narnia once just because Aslan refused to give me some of his cheese sandwich! In hindsight, that's probably why I have a parole officer tailing me... Anyways, just try and stop me if you can!"

"Oh, really? So, you're going to take on me, a giant jungle warrior, a mechanical bull, a mutant fish, and a gigantic sand worm by yourself? What a laugh." the Wallmaster dryly commented.

"How could you forget to add the great Mido!" Mido proclaimed.

"Shut it. If anyone should be referenced, it should be me," the postman retorted.

"Will all of you just shut up!" Majora shouted. He turned back to the Wallmaster.

"As an answer to your question, meet my minions! Attack my Cucco army!"

Suddenly, an enormous flock of Cuccos emerged from nowhere and advanced towards the council.

"Run for your lives!" No one needed to be told twice.

The council members ran to West Clock Town and were chased all the way around to East Clock Town before finally losing their pursuers.

**Night of the First Day**

**60 Hours Remain**

"I think... we lost them... for now," the postman let out.

"Why... is the... town so... empty?" Mido asked.

"Hey... listen! Probably... evacuated... Watch out!" Navi replied.

The group looked around nervously in case any more crazy chickens attacked.

"Now what?"

Everyone looked unsure as to how to answer Goht's question.

"Psst! Over here!"

The council turned to see Kafei motioning for them into the Stock Pot Inn. Having nothing else to do for the time being, the group followed him in. Once they got inside, they saw Anju in there as well.

"You guys looking for a way out too?" Kafei asked.

"No, we're actually collecting money for the Blind Deku Shrub Foundation. Of course we're looking for a way out!" the Wallmaster sarcastically yelled.

"Well then, you're in luck. Anju and I have a secret underground tunnel that leads to Romani ranch. We built it after the first moon incident. Anyways, if we're lucky, we can go to the ranch and convince Cremia and Romani to do something about that psycho mask."

The council couldn't think of a better plan so they all decided to follow Anju and Kafei. Anju led them to the kitchen where she uncovered a hidden trapdoor near the fireplace. Everyone wordlessly followed the couple into the dark, underground tunnel.

**DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY**

**48 HOURS REMAIN**

After walking on in silence for a while, the group found themselves in a majestic underground hallway. Numerous stone pillars stood at the sides adding to the awe-inspiring sight. Everyone except Anju and Kafei gaped in fascination.

"Wow! Who could have built such an impressive architectural structure? The place looks even more impressive than my temple!" Twinmold commented.

"Don't know. Anju and I uncovered this place while making our little tunnel. Anju says that the place was probably a mine built by an ancient race of dwarves who lived thousands of years before us. Pfft. In my opinion, that's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard of," Kafei answered.

Anju puffed up indignantly. "Oh really, Mr. Know-It-All? Then what's your theory about who built this place?"

"Thought you'd never ask. This place was so obviously built by giant mole people."

Before anyone could respond to Kafei's idiocy, a spine-shivering sound echoed through the tunnels. Numerous clucking noises resonated all throughout the hall.

"Damn, they've found us! Run for it!" the postman yelled as he started running, the rest of the council following close behind.

The clucking seemed to be coming from all around them. Soon the council saw the approaching Cuccos. What seemed like hundreds, no thousands, of Cuccos swarmed in from all around them. The group found that they were surrounded. Mido suddenly pulled out a Deku stick from out of nowhere and brandished it like a sword.

"Everyone, form a perimeter! If we're going to die, then let's give them hell before we do!"

The council obeyed and covered each others backs as they prepared to face off against the most horrifying force that the world had ever seen. The Cuccos had fully encircled them by now and were slowly approaching. However, before even a single Cucco jumped in for the kill, an immense roar sounded from one of the caverns leading off from the hall.

"No. It can't be," Kafei whispered.

Flames suddenly lept from the cavern, roasting a handful of Cuccos into a crispy KFC value meal. The other Cuccos let out clucks of fear as they started to flap away.

Kafei turned to the others. "Run! This beast is beyond any of you! Also grab some of that roast chicken! I'm hungry!"

Confused, the group scooped up the wings and drumsticks before following Kafei as he led them down to a different tunnel. Whatever made the roar seemed to be heading straight towards them. Ominous footsteps echoed after the company.

"What in Nayru's name is chasing us?" the Redead screamed as it ran.

"It's a fearsome monster that we uncovered when we first found this place. I had to call over Cremia to get rid of it and even then she could only gravely injure it! It must have recovered after all this time!" Anju yelled back as an answer.

Everything went fine until the group came to a narrow stone bridge. Halfway across, the Redead dropped the chicken pieces it was carrying. Kafei immediately stopped to pick them up while everyone else made it safely to the other side.

"Kafei! What do you think your doing?" Anju shouted.

"What does it look like I'm doing, woman? I'm saving my precious hot wings!"

Before Kafei was done scooping up his snack, the beast entered the cavern.

"Oh my...! Its a Flare Dancer!" the Like-Like exclaimed. "Its one of the most uncredited monsters in the whole LoZ series! Its probably been sulking here ever since _Ocarina of Time _ended! No wonder it looks so angry!"

The said Flare Dancer was indeed a fearsome sight. It was nearly four times the size of a regular Flare Dancer and much bulkier as well. Where its hands should have been were two flaming sword-like appendages. It roared as it spotted Kafei on the bridge.

Kafei quickly hid the chicken behind him. "The only way your getting to my food is by getting through me first!"

"You idiot! Its not after your little snack! Its after you! Just run!" Anju shrieked at her rather dim-witted husband.

The Flare Dancer ignored all this and started to move towards Kafei. Kafei quickly pulled out a rather oversized drumstick from behind him and raised it over his head.

"YOU.. SHALL NOT... PASS!"

Kafei dramatically brought down the drumstick onto the bridge. Quite obviously, this did absolutely nothing other than make him look like a bigger idiot than he already was. The Flare Dancer laughed maliciously before whacking Kafei through the ceiling.

"Kafei's blasting off again! Oh, hey Team Rocket. How's it going?"

The cavern started to collapse from the sudden hole Kafei made in its ceiling. The falling rubble rained down on the bridge, effectively destroying it. The Flare Dancer roared in frustration as it was separated from its preys. The council quickly followed Anju as she led them out of the collapsing chamber. After a few minutes of running they came to a structurally sound tunnel.

"Hey, aren't you worried even the least bit about your husband? He just got whacked halfway across Termina," Goht asked Anju as soon as they stopped running and had caught their breath.

Anju casually waved her hand. "Nah. He gets blown into the sky about three times a week. He'll be fine."

No one really wanted to ask why Kafei was constantly being sent flying so they decided to let that one slide.

"Why does it feel like I've seen Kafei's little act somewhere before?" Odolwa muttered as the group neared the exit.

**Night of the Second Day**

**36 Hours Remain**

The council finally exited the tunnels and looked around. They were in the woods surrounding Romani Ranch. In the distance, they could see the farmhouse and the barn.

"Hey, there's already some people there!" Gyorg quickly noted as they made their way towards the ranch.

"Probably the other citizens of Clock Town that evacuated," Anju answered in a bored tone.

When the group arrived, Anju headed straight for the farmhouse. She suddenly started swearing after noticing a sign on the door.

"What is it? Something wrong?" the Wallmaster asked.

Anju pointed at the sign which everyone leaned forward to read. Quite plainly, the sign read:

**Sorry! We're either out delivering milk or out hunting aliens. We'll be back in a few days. Sorry for the inconvenience!**

**-Romani Romani and Cremia Romani**

"Great! Now our last chance of dealing with psycho mask is gone!" Anju yelled as she kicked a poor Chuchu in frustration.

"Come on, you don't have to be so dramatic about it. Besides, what could a farm girl have done for us?" the Like-Like naively asked.

Anju only glared at the blob in response.

"So, this is it? This is how it'll all end for me?" the Redead sadly questioned.

"Not for you, lucky contestant!"

A brilliant glow lit up the entire ranch. Two humanoid shapes took form but the light obscured any other detail.

"What the...? Who are you?"

"Let's just say that we're the ones who decide everything that goes on in your universe. Anyways, we're here for a certain Mr. Redead. He's been chosen to appear in _Twilight Princess_," one of the beings told them.

"What? Why does he get to feature in _Twilight Princess _but not us?" the Like-Like asked furiously.

"We were originally going to feature the Gidbos in the Arbiter's Grounds but those mummies are currently on strike. Damn zombie labor unions. We thought the Redeads were a close enough match so they're back in."

The Redead started doing a Russian jig in its joy. "Whoo hoo! I'm off to Hollywood! Or the Arbiter's Grounds! Whatever, I'm off!" The Redead walked towards the two mysterious beings and disappeared in a flash of light.

"Great! Just great! I might as well just hang myself right now!" the Wallmaster fumed.

"Hey, listen! You don't have a neck... Watch out!"

"Damn those game developers!"

"Yep. We're dead for sure," Anju commented.

"No." Mido suddenly grabbed a wooden crate and climbed on top of it. All the people and monsters at the ranch walked over to hear what the midget had to say.

"Everyone, listen to me! We can't just simply give up like this! If we all join together and fight, we can surely take down this threat!"

"Your crazy! The town's occupied by a flock of Cuccos! It would be suicide to try and take it back!" someone in the crowd shouted.

"Well, its better than just giving up!"

"Have you even seen how many people we currently have? There's only about thirty of us! Psycho mask probably has a thousand Cuccos in his army!"

"We can ask the Gorons and Zoras for help!"

"Ha! And exactly how do you propose that we persuade them to join a suicide mission?"

Mido quickly pulled out two pieces of parchment and a pencil then quickly scribbled something down on both papers. He then beckoned for the postman.

"Take this to Snowpeak mountain and Great Bay. Give it to the leaders of the Gorons and Zoras. Tell them to light their signal flares if they agree to fight. Now go! Deliver these letters as fast as you can! The fate of the world rests in your hand!"

The postman gave a salute before running off to deliver the letters. The crowd turned their attention back towards Mido.

"Even if they decide to help, we're still outmatched," someone in the crowd said.

Mido suddenly pulled out his Deku stick and started waving it in the air for dramatic effect.

"This is exactly what Majora wants us to do! He fears the fact that we might unite under a single banner! He's using fear to keep us separated! Do we really want to play into his hands? No! We will show him just how powerful we really are! When the fourth day arises, we will not see death or destruction. We shall see the dawn of a new day! Now join me! Fight for all that you hold dear! Fight for all that is good in this world! Fight for the bright future that lies ahead! TO VICTORY!"

The crowd cheered as Mido's speech came to a conclusion. They all scrambled about to prepare for the upcoming battle. Mido jumped down from the crate and was met by the other council members.

"Wow. That was the corniest thing that I've ever heard. Not to mention that we're in farm country, " Odolwa flatly stated. (cue rim-shot)

"Well, at least we're finally doing something," Mido casually replied.

"Whatever. Let's just help with the war preparations at the least."

**DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY**

**24 HOURS REMAIN**

Mido surveyed his little battalion. A few of the carpenters had set up a forge and were busy making weapons and armor for the army. Although the weapons were second-rate, it was better than nothing. Navi and the Wallmaster were busy distributing the weapons and armor. Odolwa was trying his best to teach the soldiers how to use a sword. Goht, Gyorg, and Twinmold were off to the side having some sort of heated argument. The Like-Like was playing checkers with a rock. Mido suddenly noticed a kid in armor sitting off from everyone. Upon closer inspection, Mido saw that it was actually Jim, the leader of the Bomber Society.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Mido asked as he approached him.

Jim looked up forlornly before replying. "Some of the men are saying that we won't survive the night. They say that it is hopeless."

Mido noticed the miniature sword that Jim was carrying. "May I see that?"

Jim nodded and handed it to him. Mido tried to swing it in an attempt to boost Jim's morale with a few kick-ass sword maneuvers. Unfortunately, Mido accidentally let the sword slip from his grip. The sword went flying before embedding itself in the same poor Chuchu that Anju had kicked earlier.

"Yeah, we're doomed," Jim said as he turned back to sulk.

Mido decided he had embarrassed himself enough and went to talk to the Wallmaster and Navi. Just then, a horn sounded near the entrance to the ranch.

"Who could that be?" the Wallmaster asked as he looked up, along with everyone else, to see who or what was arriving.

Everyone at the ranch stared in surprise as a magnificent army marched its way towards them. The soldiers were rather short but they were all clad in shining, silver armor. Above them flew a green banner that had a picture of an emerald and a giant tree. By now, everyone could see that the army was made up of Kokiri. The procession halted once it reached Mido.

The leader of the Kokiri army came forward to greet them. Mido instantly recognized her.

"Saria!" Mido leaped forward and embraced her.

"How is this possible?" the Wallmaster asked in awe.

Saria shoved Mido aside before answering. "Long ago men, monsters, and Kokiri fought and died together. We have come to honor that agreement."

"Wait a second. The Kokiri never fought in any war. What the hell are you talking about?" Mido asked, earning a fist to the stomach from Saria.

"Don't interrupt me when I'm trying to say a cool monologue! Ahem. Anyways, we met the postman on the way from a costume party at Dark Link's house. We thought it sounded like fun so we came here."

"So, those aren't real weapons or armor?" the Wallmaster asked, all his hope suddenly fading.

"Actually these are real. We went all out for this year's party. Man, you should have seen the look on Vaati's face when we won the costume contest. He thought he won for sure with his stupid Master Chief costume. Boy, did we show him!"

"CUCCO ATTACK!" the watchman suddenly interrupted.

Sure enough, a large flock of gigantic Cuccos were heading straight towards them.

"Look, we'll settle all this later. Just help us against these psychotic chickens!" Mido shouted as he grabbed a bow.

**Night of the Final Day**

**12 Hours Remain**

Even with all the arrows flying at them, the Cuccos descended over the army. One poor archer was caught in one of the Cucco's talons and was thrown fifty feet in the air before falling with a sickening thud. The rest of the army wasn't faring any better. The gigantic Cuccos swooped down and devoured anything that they could catch in their monstrous beaks. It was just then, when all hope seemed lost, that the Like-Like shouted out:

"Ooccas! It's the Ooccas!"

Everyone looked up to see a flock of Ooccas clash with the Cuccos in midair. Both sides pecked and clawed at each other with no mercy. Soon, all the Cuccos fell dead to the ground.

"Thank you!" Saria called out.

The Ooccas nodded their heads in acknowledgment and started to patrol the skies in case of further Cucco assault.

Mido grabbed his crate and climbed up again.

"Okay, we don't have much time. We have to strike now if we're to have any chance of winning!"

"Shouldn't we wait for the Gorons and Zoras to reply?"

As soon as this was said, a bright light shown from the north and the west.

"The beacons are lit! They're going to fight with us!" Everyone cheered at the news.

"How did you persuade them to fight?" Odolwa asked Mido incredulously.

"Simple. I promised them cake."

The council members all sweat-dropped while the others looked confused.

"INCOMING!" the watchman shouted.

All heads turned towards the sky as something started dropping towards them. Everyone dived for cover as the object impacted with the ground, crushing the exact same Chuchu from before.

"Ow. That really hurt."

The army came out to see Kafei in the middle of the crater. Anju immediately ran up and embraced him.

"What happened while I was gone?" Kafei asked.

Anju briefly summarized everything that had transpired after Kafei was sent flying.

"What? Are you crazy! Those Cuccos will rip us to shreds! It's game over, man! Game over!" Kafei shouted, once Anju finished filling him in.

"Well, he took that well," Goht commented.

"Never mind him. It's time we started the attack!"

The army organized itself into a column before heading off towards Clock Town. Mido led the procession while carrying his Deku stick like a sword. Anju dragged Kafei along near the rear of the army. The Ooccas followed the army overhead. The final confrontation drew near.

Once the army was within sight of Clock Town, Mido halted them. Everyone looked nervously at the walls of Clock Town where they knew that the Cuccos resided. Even more worrying was the enormous moon that was only a few feet above the Clock Tower and slowly getting closer.

"Umm, Mido? Why did you stop us? You do realize that there's a giant moon about to fall, right?" the Like-Like asked nervously as the ground started shaking.

"Well now, we can't have an epic war scene without a final rousing speech!" Mido turned to face them all.

"I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship! An hour of Cuccos and shattered shields when the age of Men and Monsters comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! This is the hour in which we'll draw our swords together! Now, is the time in which we shall leave our names forever in the passage of history! Now for death! For glory! And a bright new dawn! Charge!"

Mido turned just in time to see the moon crush the Clock Tower. Everyone glared death at Mido as a wall of flame headed straight for them.

"Shit."

* * *

**This was actually my original idea of how to end Council of Rejects. Well, at least the last part with Mido's speech. I decided to add in the Lord of the Rings references after watching all three movies during the weekend. Hooray for three-day weekends! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!**


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